I Also Believe

This is the third post in the “I Believe” series.  This series is about some of the things I think about when it’s late at night and the power goes out.

If you haven’t read the first two posts in this series I have included links for them at the bottom of this post. 

Have fun, and enjoy.

I believe…one day I will start behaving myself, but it won’t be today.

I believe…you have the right to be stupid, but most people abuse this privilege

I believe…you should never get jealous when you see your ex with someone else, because my parents taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.

I believe…if you think what I’m saying is inappropriate then you should hear the thoughts I’m keeping to myself.

I believe…the package on the toilet paper should not say 100% recycled.

I believe…if you are crying and someone asks if you are sad, that should give you the right to kick them in the balls and ask, “Are you ok?”.

I believe…if you call a psychic and they don’t greet you by name, you should hang up.

I believe…that you shouldn’t forget to smile.  It either warms their hearts or pisses them off.  Either way, you win.

I believe…my first marriage was like a tornado.  At first there was a lot of sucking and blowing, then I lost my house.

I believe…some people are like slinkies, the only way they make you happy is if you push them down a flight of stairs.

I believe…no one will ever love you as much as your stalker does.

I believe…Febreeze is not a substitute for doing laundry.

I believe…you have the right to your opinion, and I have the right to think you’re stupid.

I believe…You don’t love someone because they’re perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they aren’t.

I believe…everyone needs a theme song.

I believe…that everyone that was bitching about it being too hot this summer should be happy as shit right about now.

Well that’s all I have for now.  As promised, here are the links for my other two posts, hope you enjoy them.

I Believe

An Adendum to I Believe

 

Photo titled Snow Cat by Larry Krause used under Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial 2.0 Generic license

My Christmas List 2010

Well after last night’s little rant I went off on I decided to write the other post that was in my brain.  Hopefully you will find this one a little lighter,  and funnier.

What this post is about it what I want for Christmas this year from Santa.  So here it is, my letter to Santa Clause:

Dear Santa,

Hi, it’s Tony, but you knew that didn’t you?  I tried to be a really good boy this year, and I hope that you can forget about that little incident last March, I’m sorry about that.  I didn’t know the Polar Bear Club was meeting at a nudist colony until I got there, and well, once you’re there, you might as well, right?

How are the reindeer and Mrs. Clause doing?  I hope they get lots of Turkey and oats for Christmas.  OOPS! That would be oats and turkey,  wouldn’t want to give the Misses oats for Christmas, she might not make you hot cocoa!

Oh, and don’t forget to take the elves to Cancun for vacation, they said they had a lot of fun there last year, and that one elf, what’s her name?  Oh, yeah, Bethalina.  Bethalina said to tell you she is sorry about those pictures on the internet, she didn’t know the reporter from ElfBoy was following her on that beach.

So anyway, I should probably get to the reason for this letter.  I wanted to make some suggestions for my family for Christmas presents.

For my son, you know him, I think he has been doing “ok” this year.  Maybe not “Nice List” good, but not bad enough to be on the naughty list.  For him I think you should give him a football, because he just LOVES to put his foot in my balls every chance he gets.  It makes him laugh hysterically.

My older daughter LOVES cheerleading, so I think she would LOVE a visit to our house by the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders!  And that could be a second present for my son.

My younger daughter LOVES princesses so she would probably think that a trip to Disney World or Disneyland would be AWESOME!  It doesn’t matter which one, whichever is closer to a nude beach would be fine.

My wife’s wish is to have me look like I used to, so if you could get me abs like Billy Blanks and hair like Fabio she would really enjoy that.  Also, another body part the size of Peter North’s would be a nice surprise for her.

As for myself, I don’t want to ask for much.  I would like some white paint and some baseball size rocks,  for the snowball fights with the neighbor kids.  Also, could I get a new butt?  Mine is cracked and has a hole in it.  A case of beer would be nice to go along with my beer gut, and it would make working over the holidays more enjoyable. 

Thank You for being such an awesome gift giver!-Tskaz

P.S. When you are done with the “Naughty Girls” list, can you email that to me?

Christmas Time 2010

Well it’s that time of year again, The holiday season is here, and so are the crazy-ass shoppers!  It all starts with Black Friday,  the day that every crazy SOB in America decides they can’t live without the 27-cent Digital Micro Midget.  And if someone wants to sue me because they invented the Digital Micro Midget, a) They better be able to show me the product,  and b) it better sell for 27 cents, or it’s not the one I’m talking about.

This is the day that everyone stands in line for 12+ hours just to get a good deal on a product they a) are going to give away, b) don’t need in the first place, and c) is just going to get thrown away in 4 months.  Just what I would want to do after I stuff myself full of turkey and apple pie.

And these people are mean! I’m talking redneck-fist-fight at 4a.m. bitchy!  “I’m tired, I don’t want to wait in line anymore, why can’t we just have it before 5?”  By all means, get the hell out!  I’m so sorry I forced you to come in on Thanksgiving day just to stand in line to MAKE you buy the 27 cent DMM.  Here, let me just smash them with a hammer so we can all go home and go to bed!

And then, of course, there is the moron that comes in an hour before the sale ends and expects to get “EVERY ITEM ON MY LIST!”  Oh, but you got up EARLY to come in and get it?  I call bullshit on that one.  If you really wanted it you would have been in here 24 hours ago, just like every other moron in the state!

Then we have the weeks in between Black Friday and Christmas Eve.  Those are fun, too.  Filled with grumpy people that are pissed off because they have to spend money for Christmas and they can’t understand why they can’t find any of those new hot items, like a “Digital Electric Micron Toy Thingy”.

And since we are on the whole “hot toy item” bit, FUCK ELMO!  That’s right, I said it.  It’s because of that little prick that one guy came in and bought ALL the DMMs for 27 cents and is going to rape buyers on ebay for 150 bucks a piece.

Of course, Christmas Eve is the absolute worst.  Every person that didn’t get to come in and get, or go online and get, every item on their spoiled brat’s list comes in the store and by now is Superpissed that we are out of every single gift item that anybody ever wanted.  Well, No shit, Sherlock!  Did you really expect to come in 6 hours before freakin’ Christmas and expect to have the perfect selection of gifts for your entire family?  Let me save you some time.  Get them all gift cards because all that shit has been gone for 2 weeks.   That way, you can get the hell out of the store and go home and enjoy some eggnog, and all those jackasses that begged for impossible to find gifts, can go to the store and get pissed off because they are out of the item they wanted.  Saves you the headache.

Now, if you’ve made it this far, I want to apologize if you think this is a story about me being pissed off, or bitching.   That is not my feelings on the matter.  If it weren’t for my customers, I wouldn’t have a job.  I wish them all Happy Holidays.  The key word there is HAPPY, spelled H-A-P-P-Y.  Put a smile on your face when you go shopping.  Think about who you are buying the gift for, and how they would feel if they knew you were being a jackass about buying it.  Try to enjoy the shopping experience.  And please forgive the salesclerk if he/she is a little bitchy, they had to work and miss out on the 27 cent Digital Micro Midget so they just got it up the ass when they bought one off ebay for the amazing deal of $138.76, plus $14.95 shipping and handling.

Happy Thanksgiving 2010

It is Thursday, November 25th 2010 and this is my Thanksgiving Day post. I want to start by saying that I am very thankful for the men and women serving in our armed forces. It is because of them that we can sit down at our dinner table and celebrate this day. Please keep them in your prayers this holiday season.
I am also very thankful for my family, my friends here at home, as well as my friends at WordPress, twitter, and facebook.
And to you, dear Reader, I am thankful that you took the time on your holiday to read my blog. Please feel free to leave a comment stating what you are thankful for this holiday.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Just the Facts Ma’am

No, it ain’t Joe Friday, it’s me, your old pal, TSkaz.  You might have heard of me, I’m kind of a big deal.  That’s right, Bitches, I’m back with another post to my bloggity-blog, and it’s all about the facts.  What I mean is it’s finally time for the post I told you all about earlier, if you took the time to read it, that is.

What I wrote was that I was checking out this new Blackberry app that has 5,001 amazing (and not-so-amazing) facts.  I’d tell you the name of it, but they aren’t paying me so I’m not telling.

What I am going to do in this “story”, IF you want to call it that, is tell some of these facts…and then put my own little twist on them.  What I hope to accomplish is to make you LOL, LYAO, and maybe even make you laugh so hard that you PIAB or CLAB.  That’s Laugh Out Loud, Laugh Your Ass Off, or laugh so hard that you Puke In A Bucket or Cry Like A Baby, for those of you ISI (internet short-hand illiterate).

So here we go on this wild and wacky ride.

Fact #19:  Flamingos pee on their legs to cool themselves off.  Can you imagine the biologist that discovered this one, standing outside, pissing on his legs in 110 degree heat, and exclaiming “Holy Shit! It actually works!”?

Fact # 29:  In Athens, Greece, a driver’s license can be revoked if the driver is deemed unbathed or poorly dressed.  Can we adopt this law, PLEASE? We’d have a shitload more people walking in this damn country, which would make our roads safer.

Fact # 45:  Microsoft threatened 17 year old Mike Rowe with a lawsuit after the young man launched a website called MikeRoweSoft.com.  Which leads one to wonder, shouldn’t he have sued Microsoft for using his name for their product without permission?

Fact # 51:  In Utah, it is illegal to swear in front of a dead person.  Ok, I understand if it’s in church, but if it’s a cop on scene of an accident and he walks up and the dude is missing, say, a head, and he say’s “Holy Fuck!”, is the other cop supposed to write him a ticket, or does he give himself the ticket?

Fact # 54:  French author Michel Thaler published a 233 page novel which has no verbs.  So it’s a big ass book of…doing nothing? WTF

Fact # 61:  Enough beer is poured every Saturday across America to fill the Orange Bowl. Next we’re going to try for Texas Stadium.

Fact #70:  It is illegal not to smile in Pocatello, Idaho.  Of course, the entire police force has to take turns giving tickets out to the first guy that didn’t smile, which pissed him off and got him another ticket, which pissed him off and got him another ticket, which pissed….well, you get the idea.

Fact #96:  Canada is the Indian word for “Big Village”.  Apparently the Indian word for “Fucking Cold” was taken.

Fact #181:  Uranus is about 19 times larger than Earth and 20 times more fun to say.  That is exactly as written on the program, it’s all them.

Fact #190: The Chinese ideogram for ‘trouble’ depicts two women living under one roof, I wonder why;-).  Again, that one is all them.

Fact #205:  In deep space, most lubricants will disappear.  And the astronauts tested this how? Brings new meaning to the term ‘Mile High Club’.

Fact #210:  In 1969, Midnight Cowboy became the first and only X-rated production to win the Academy Award for Best Picture. I’m surprised that a porn didn’t win ALL the Best Picture Awards.

Fact #332:  In 1843, a Parisian street mime got stuck in his imaginary box and consequently died of starvation.  All I can say to this one is HUH?!

Fact #343:  Ninety percent of New York Cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.  I told you some of these were not-so-amazing.

Fact #394:  The star fish is actually not a fish, it’s an animal.  Ummm…..isn’t a fish an animal? Dumbasses.

Fact #436:  Washington, D.C. has one lawyer for every 19 residents.  And you wonder why this country is so fucked up?

Fact #440:  Nearly a third of all bottled drinking water purchased in the US is contaminated with bacteria.  Yeah, that’s right, go pay $1.69 for a bottle of water from the drinking fountain, dumbass.

Fact #456:  The International dialing code for Antarctica is 672.  Useful if your Great-Aunt Edna is a fucking penguin.

Fact #818:  In Kentucky it is illegal to carry ice cream in your back pocket.  But apparently the front pocket is perfectly fine to carry your ice cream in.

Fact #918:  When Britney Spears checks in to a hotel she uses the name ‘Allota Warmheart’ so that no one will recognize her.  Doesn’t the bald head clue anyone in?

Fact #1004: The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.  Um…which head do they decapitate?

Fact #1058:  It is illegal to be a prostitute in Siena, Italy, if your name is Mary.  That leads me to wonder why anyone would NOT name their daughter Mary.

Fact # 1087:  Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he didn’t wear pants.  Apparently Fins think that a cartoon duck’s ass is attractive…stay the fuck out of Finland.

Fact # 1194:  In Detroit, Michigan, it is illegal to tie your alligator to a fire hydrant.  Is this really a problem in Detroit?

Fact #1264:  In Alaska it is illegal to whisper in someone’s ear while they are moose hunting.  Because it would be impolite to the moose to not let it know that you are going to kill it.

Fact #1367:  In Arizona, you may not have more than two dildos in a house.  So does that mean that the sorority sisters have to share?

Fact #1403:  Drivers kill more deer than hunters.  So the next time you want to bitch that I shouldn’t hunt I’ll make you a deal.  I’ll stop hunting, if you stop driving.

Fact #1853:  In 2003, there were 86 days of below freezing weather in Hell, Michigan.  Now you can call up all those girls that told you they’d go out with you when Hell freezes over, and ask them what time to pick them up.

Fact #1958:  In an average day, a four year old child will ask 437 questions.  And I’m thinking 426 of them are “Why?”.

Fact #2169:  The little bags of netting for gas lanterns (called ‘mantles’) are radioactive…so much so that they will set off an alarm at a nuclear reactor.  But it’s ok if I stock 200 a day, because we all know that that bag is going to save me, right?

Fact #2495:  Time Magazine’s “Man of the Year” for 1938 was Adolph Hitler.  Man, they really fucked that one up, didn’t they?

Fact #2821:  There are 125 drinking fountains in Central Park, New York.  One for every seven murderers, I’m just guessing.

Fact #2921:  Whale hunting is strictly prohibited throughout the entire state of Oklahoma.  Um…anyone got a map handy? Because the last one I looked at didn’t have an ocean next to Oklahoma.

Fact #2941:  Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants in Marshalltown, Iowa.  Seriously? This is a problem? What the fuck kind of horses are they raising?

Fact #3035:  The Chino, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.  Well, okay, but who would be left to collect the fine?

Fact #3681:  In Idaho, you may not fish on a camel’s back.  Unfair height advantage? WTF

Fact #3695:  The quills on a porcupine are soft when they are born.  Well I hope so, for fuck’s sake! That would hurt like hell!

Fact #3861:  In Seattle, Washington, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon that is over 6 feet in length.  If it’s that damn big, wouldn’t it no longer be concealed?

Fact #4078:  In Bahrain, a male gynecologist can only examine a woman’s private parts through a mirror.  Kinda takes the fun out of the job, doesn’t it?  And what about his wife? Does he have to use a mirror when he goes down on her?

Fact #4430:  In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal.  Does that include camel toe?  Because if it does there are going to be a lot of women embarrassed when they get a ticket.

And last, but not least is this-

Fact #4511: Turtles can breathe through their butts.  My kids will never have a pet turtle, for the simple fact, that I will NOT be giving that motherfucker CPR.

Well there you have it folks, Stupid facts as told by a blackberry program, and me, your old pal @TSkaz.  Hope you enjoyed the read, and maybe even laughed at least a little.

Why, Hello There!

Just a quick note a) to apologize for not posting in a while, and b) to tell you I won’t be posting for a few more days!
Actually, I AM working on something that I think you will enjoy imens…immen…emensl…fuck it…a lot. So much for using a fifty dollar word.
I found this app for my crackberry that has some amazing facts, and some not-so-noteworthy. I’m going through the list of 5,000 right now and putting down the ones that I want to share with you, getting rid of all the boring shit in the process.
And of course, I will be putting my own two cents in on each one, cause it’s my blog and I’ll make fun of shit if I want to.
Anyway, look for it soon, and I hope you like it a lot lot lot lot.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Star Trek

Well since I haven’t posted anything on my blog in, like, FOREVER, I decided I should do another movie review.  But which movie?

Well after much deliberation between Me, Myself, and I, Myself and I lost because Me can be a mean little prick, so he decided to do Star Trek XI starring a bunch of goddamn people I have NEVER heard of, and Leonard Nimoy as Spock!  All the Trekkies just about came in their pants when they heard that Spock was going to be in the movie.  They all DID cum in their pants when they seen the Green Bitch.  More on her later.

As always with my movie reviews this one will be Twitterized (is that a fucking word?) which means that all of my snarky little comments will be 140 characters or less and will be submitted on my Twitter page.  (My Twitter address is in the “Where to Find Me” section at the top of this page)

Please remember that this is meant as fun, so I hope you (and I mean YOU because the other 976 people that have read this blog are all spammers!) have fun and enjoy the movie-TSkaz

Nice start, blow the hell out of a Federation ship to get all the Trekkies on the hero side

I love the fact that there is no noise when she gets sucked out of the Kelvin!

And the first voiceover by @wilw FYI if you are not a Trekkie: Wil Wheaton played Wesley Crusher on TNG

Oooooohh! You are capt now mr kirk! So capt cock, er, KIRK had a daddy who was a cap’n too!

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell anyone who hasn’t seen it yet, this is my 12th time watching it, so…SPOILER ALERT!

What a way to die.  Strolling through the galaxy and you’re like, look at the pretty stars, aren’t they pret….

HOLY FUCK! What the hell is that thing?!

That’s pretty good. Most people would have been “this is the captain, get the fuck out, now!”

Yup, it’s Iowa, not a goddamn tree in sight.  Nice Vette BTW

Every time that Nokia tone plays I look at my phone and think it’s ringing. I have that ringtone, therefore I am a geek.

I do believe this is the first ever car chase in a star trek movie

You know he wanted to say “I’m James T Kirk, BITCH!”

Hey we just found Spock’s weak spot

I love this part, “take your Vulcan Science Academy and stick it up your Vulcan ass!” Said with class!

Captain Kirk hitting on a chick? NO WAY!! who would’ve thought.

BAR FIGHT!

Now on TOS kirk would have never got a ass beatin like that. He ain’t even get that when Spock “killed” him in Amok Time

Aww, Pike pulled out the “your daddy was a great man” card

Damn I like that bike

McCoy always freakin about gettin sick

And THAT’s why I love Captain Kirk! He always fucks the green bitch TWICE before breakfast!

And the infamous KobiashiMaru test

Ok now we get to the funny shit

Gotta love McCoy’s bedside manner

Sulu totally makes an ass of himself when he screws the warp jump, and saves the ship in the process

See, Dumbass, should’ve listened to Kirk sooner!

LMAO the dude in the red suit wants to kick some Romulan ass! That’s funny shit cause you know his ass gonna die!

Yup, he dead as hell

That’s quite the advancement in ninja swords. I bet Snake Eyes is jealous

That Sulu is one wicked ass fencer!

Kirk to Enterprise, Vulcan is FUCKED!

See, his ass woulda been beamed up by now if Scotty was onboard

Ok, they were beamed at terminal velocity, so why didn’t the transporter pad break when they hit it?

Ok, so why did Spock have his mother closest to the exploding mountain? cause she was Human? Maybe he’s racist.

Nero is kinda fucked in the head, isn’t he?

I like Spock, he’s the smart bastard

YEAH! The Vulcan neck pinch!

It’s a cross between a spider, a T-rex, and Alien

Awww, Old Spock wants to hug young Jim Kirk>>>> That’s kind of disturbing.

Finally, a mind meld!

I think Spock just politely told McCoy to fuck off

HOLY SHIT! It’s Scotty!

All the Trekkies just had multiple orgasms from the line “Live long and prosper”……I know I did!

Amok Time tribute!!!!

Alright! Spock’s on board for the ass whoopin’ the Romulans are about to receive!

What the hell IS Urura’s first name anyway?

Those phase pistols are neat as shit! I bet Bill is jealous as hell!

Capt Kirk is like the white Shaft… abad mother (HEY!) that gets more ass than a toilet seat!

I guess artificial gravity doesn’t work the same way as real gravity…otherwise Kirk would die from a 40 foot leap

“I got your gun”… he should have added a “BITCH!” to that line

Nice shot Captain Pike!

That black hole is going to swallow that ship like a 3 dollar hooker

Standard ST ending: kill the bad guy then hope Scotty can save your ass from your stupidity

“I am not our father”…much better than “Hi Spock, I’m Spock”

That was awesome by the costume designers, Spock’s right pinky is a little short, so Spock’s right pinky is a little short

Why is Scotty so special? You know he’s the only Red Shirt that you know will make it back from the away mission

And now it is time to boldly go….to the bathroom. That was one long ass movie.

Well there it is, my review of Star Trek XI.  I hope you thought it was funny, but if you didn’t, try reading it while watching the goddamn movie, Shithead!

Blackberry 8530

I just upgraded my phone yesterday.  My wife bought me the Blackberry 8530 (Thanks Beth!).  After a 2 hour ordeal at the retailer who had to call our carrier about our upgrade eligibility I finally got my phone.

See, the computer said that we weren’t eligible for an upgrade even though the internet account and the carrier’s computer when the rep called, both said that we were eligible.  The rep bitched at the carrier enough that they finally got their head out of their ass and were able to get my upgrade.

Anyway, we finally got home and after an hour of setup and transfer from my old Blackberry 8330 I was able to check out my new gadget, for about 30 minutes.  That wasn’t even enough time to download Twitter and Facebook apps for it so I didn’t get to use it much until lunchtime today.

I love this phone. It has waaaaaaay more memory and a much better processor than any other Blackberry I have owned.  I love the standard them (but not the wallpaper) and it’s easy to use interface.  Had problems setting it up as a modem but eventually got them wringed out.
I have downloaded Twitter for Blackberry, Facebook, vlingo, Nobex Radio, WordPress blogs, yahoo messenger, googletalk, and weatherbug, which I ended up deleting. and I still have over 99 Megs of usable memory. 

I am looking forward to getting to know my new Crackberry over the next few days.  It takes me forever to set up because I don’t like my gadgets the same as everyone else’s.

I just wanted to thank my wife for being so good to me, and for getting my new phone as soon as she did. Thanks again, Beth. Love ya.

Honda CB750four Super Sport

The last post in the series entitled Rides…for now

When I was 16 I had an Apple IIGS.  Yes I’ve been a geek for a looong time.  Since I wasn’t in school and I didn’t work everyday at the shop I had the chance to go to my 8th grade computer teacher’s class during the day and swap some programs with him.

One of these trips to my old classroom opened up an amazing opportunity for me.  One day he said he was selling his motorcycle and asked if I knew anyone that wanted to buy one. Hello, duh!  I jumped at the chance to own my first road bike.

It was a 1976 (that was a good year!) Honda (squeee!) CB750four Super Sport.  Back in the seventies anything that was labeled Super Sport meant speed and style.  And how much did he want for it? $750.  Immediately I’m thinking of how much I would need to borrow from my dad.  I asked him to give me a couple days before he sold it to anyone and he agreed.

A couple days later I went to his house to look at it with my dad.  The bike left with us.  I didn’t even negotiate the price.  I fell in love with this bike.  It had good styling for a bike as old as I was (told ya it was a good year) and the most impressive thing was the four cylinder motor stuffed into the frame.  It ran great, had no scratches, came with a windscreen, and a full tank of gas.

I drove it home and parked it because I knew I needed my AMA rider’s course to get my cycle endorsement.  A few days later dad said he found where a course was and he would pay for it as part of my birthday present.  I was set.  I couldn’t wait to go.

I took the class and passed the written and road tests at the top of the class.  I drove home after the last day of class and made my mom go to the DMV  with me to get the endorsement.  When I got home I got on that bike and rode.  For four hours. 

I put over 150 miles on it my first day.  he only reason I didn’t put more on was because I had to sleep sometime.  I rode that bike for about ten months or so, putting over 6,000 miles on it.  I only put 7,000 miles on my truck in that same amount of time.

After wrecking my s10 and not being able to ride for six months I decided to sell it and find something different.  Sadly that day still hasn’t come. 

But I do plan to buy another road bike soon and hopefully teach my wife the same joys of riding that I have known and missed all these years.

 

photo by Gregoire Vandenbussche used under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0 generic license

Honda CR250R

The next to last post in my series entitled Rides

So anyway, when I got back from Iowa the Honda dealer called and said he had a bike I might be interested in.  I drove up to Mount Pleasant to look at it.

It was awesome.  It was only two months old.  The guy that bought it brand new for a race bike crashed and broke his shoulder.  I’m guessing it was his collarbone because he was told even though it would heal, if he ever took a hit on that bone again it wouldn’t be repairable.  So he gave up racing motocross.  I received the benefits of his misfortune.

He traded the bike to the dealer for a fishing boat worth $2500 and the dealer wanted to make a quick $500 on it, so my price out the door was $3000.  After getting him to throw in a new helmet worth $100 I had a Honda CR250R that was basically band new.

Even though the guy wrecked and broke a bone, the bike was not damaged at all.  He had put Renthal bars and Scott grips on it, changed the sprockets for a little more torque, and installed a ProCircuit pipe.

So not only did I get a new bike for a great price, it was already had modifications that I would have wanted to do myself. 

I rode this bike for about a month then had an accident with my S10 where I damaged some of the muscles in my throttle arm.  I was able to ride it around the yard, but it was kinda hard using my left hand to run the throttle.  I would coast down the hill and pop up on the shift lever to get it into gear and get going.

One night right around Halloween I rode the bike and parked it in front of the house when I was done. When I woke up the next morning it was gone.  I was heartbroken.

I was even more heartbroken when my dad called the insurance company and they said it wasn’t covered on the property insurance because it was titled.  We didn’t know this, of course, so now I was out a bike and I still had to pay for it.

That was a $2300 lesson that I will never forget.

A hunter found the bike 3 years later out in the woods when he went bow hunting for whitetails.  The Sherriff’s Deputy brought it to the house after their investigation.  They never caught the person that stole it, but if you ever read this please know that that day before Halloween in 1992 was the last time I was on a motorcycle.  Thanks a lot.  Oh, and you owe my ass $2300.

Join me next time for the story about the last road bike I owned.  So far.

 

The rider in the photo is Frank Pettitt taken by Martin Pettitt and used under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 generic license